"To Err Is Human, But It Feels Divine."

In the theme of updating its message, a Vatican spokesperson announced the addition of seven new deadly sins to add to the list of no-nos. In addition to the classics (Pride, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Greed), recovering Catholics like myself now have these new friends to avoid/feel guilty for failing to avoid!!

1. Polluting

2. Genetic engineering

3. Obscene riches

4. Taking drugs

5. Abortion

6. Pedophilia

7. Causing social injustice

(Did they really have to specify that abortion was a deadly sin? I mean, it's not like the Vatican's stance on that is unclear or anything... but I digress.)

To celebrate, my friend Laura is throwing a Fourteen Deadly Sins party. Proper theme party etiquette dictates that you wear a costume, so I've been tossing around ideas today at work. Let's just say this lead to a little inappropriate g-chatting, excerpted below:

***
laura: i want you to be pollution
me: if you have plastic cups there
me: then everyone can be pollution!!
laura: true
[Her away message changes to: i would expect no less from krys "if you have plastic cups there then everyone can be pollution!!"]

***
me: that wasn't the one i picked though
laura: what'd you pick
me: causing economic injustice
me: i'll be the monopoly man, and wear a top hat and monocle

***
me: my first idea was to actually BE a sloth
me: and put on three huge nails
me: and JJ thought i wouldn't be able to drink
me: so i shot that down

laura: ewww

me: dude
me: how else would you dress as a sloth?!

***

laura: brandon and i threw around a pedophile costume
me: i veto it
me: even without hearing it
me: i veto it

***

laura: i hope no one comes as abortion
me: i certainly hope not
me: if there's a tasteful way to dress up as abortion, i have yet to hear it
laura: someone could bring a baseball bat and be the aborter
me: i think you need to research how abortions are actually performed, hon
laura: someone could bring a vacuum cleaner
laura: is that better?
me: coat hanger?

Fin.

Given my penchant for compulsive eating and tendency towards inertia, it should come as no surprise that my personal favorite sins have always been gluttony and sloth. Sadly, these seem to necessitate dressing like a slob to the party, so I'm on the lookout for better ideas. Anyone?

Note: the tagline is from Mae West, and while I'm at it, I might as well highlight some more of her wit, to put me in the right mindset for a Deadly Sins party...

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to pick the one I never tried before."

"I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."

Oh Snap.

I did it. I accomplished my goal of naming all 192 member states of the UN in under 10 minutes (story below). Actually, I did it with ONE MINUTE AND THIRTY NINE SECONDS to spare. (Not that I'm one to brag or anything...)

Yes, I am the master. Yes, I can now die complete.

Screen shot included as proof of this super-human feat:

Yours, the self-proclaimed Champion of the World

Happy People Deceive Themselves.

Here's what's been on my mind all weekend.

I heard of this experiment conducted by two psychiatrists in the 1970s. They wanted to look into the idea of self-deception, so they created a questionnaire that would be so embarrassing that it would make people answer dishonestly. (The questions include, "Have you ever enjoyed a bowel movement?" "Have you ever questioned your sexual adequacy?" and "Have you ever thought about raping/being raped by somebody?")

They assumed that most people, if absolutely honest, would probably admit that they had experienced at least some of these thoughts, if not all. The people who answered "NO" to all of the questions, then, were thought to be lying to themselves. Let's call those people the "self-deceivers."

So they give this survey to tons of people in all walks of life: athletes, businesspeople, you name it. They find that the lying group, our "self-deceivers," do better at EVERYTHING. This group is found to be more successful, make more money, be better at sports, and -- here's the kicker -- to report the highest levels of happiness.

Did you all catch that? The people who lie to themselves on the survey are happier than the people who did not. Now I know we could get into a discussion of methodology, and whether all of the many assumptions the experimenters made to get these results are actually valid, but let's ignore that: what this experiment suggests is that in order to be successful in life one needs to be able to lie to oneself. (An audio clip of top swimmers preparing themselves for a big meet shows them repeating things like, "I am the best.") It takes a certain kind of focus to be able to hold onto these ambitious ideas while occasionally contradicting the facts in front of you (like, say you aren't actually the best swimmer...), but it is this focus that helps driven people succeed. Perhaps, also, it means that people who think they are happy are really just lying to themselves about it.

The contrary is that those people who strive to be more honest with themselves can't easily overlook the negatives in life, and are reportedly less happy on the whole. These people see that life has a lot of badness, that things aren't fair, that there is complication and poverty and ugliness, and since they can't shake those facts, they often become depressed. The "honest" group also fails to gloss over their own shortcomings; they recognize that they might not be the smartest, or the best, and know that they will never become the top ballerina or CEO or whatever. Maybe this honestly makes them stop trying to achieve those goals, so there is some complication in the cause/effect cycle here.

I'm relating this story because I would put myself squarely in the strive-for-self-honesty category. Under this little model, this has me doomed to unhappiness and less prestige, although perhaps a more realistic outlook on life. This is not necessarily a bad thing: French philosophers for years have been striving for The Truth even when seeking it means more complication, more nuance, less, well, fun.

So I'm opening the debate: what is more important ultimately, happiness or truth? (Or is that an unfair and silly distinction?) Would you rather (a) be a true success in life and never know it, or (b) be unsuccessful but think that you were truly great?

In Case You Want To Know What I Do For Fun...

Some people have alcoholism. I think I may have developed a debilitating addiction to this game. I'd say it's definitely a healthier obsession, both for my liver and my brain!

Colleen (my roommie), Ben (her BF) and I are in this epic competition to see who can accomplish it first. Currently, we're all about tied around the mid-teens. For some odd reason, I always seem to repeatedly forget the same few countries: Fiji, Bahrain, Samoa, and - inexplicably - Belgium. (Pierre Englebert would never forgive me for that... clearly I was not a worthy enough advisee of Pomona's IR God.) That said, I've developed the tremendous skill of correctly spelling Liechtenstein and Kyrgyzstan correctly on the first try -- I always was a bit partial for words spelled with abnormal amounts of Ks and Ys ...


UPDATE: As of March 13, 2008, I now have it down to two countries remaining: damn those forgettable Marshall and Solomon Islands...