"To Err Is Human, But It Feels Divine."

In the theme of updating its message, a Vatican spokesperson announced the addition of seven new deadly sins to add to the list of no-nos. In addition to the classics (Pride, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Greed), recovering Catholics like myself now have these new friends to avoid/feel guilty for failing to avoid!!

1. Polluting

2. Genetic engineering

3. Obscene riches

4. Taking drugs

5. Abortion

6. Pedophilia

7. Causing social injustice

(Did they really have to specify that abortion was a deadly sin? I mean, it's not like the Vatican's stance on that is unclear or anything... but I digress.)

To celebrate, my friend Laura is throwing a Fourteen Deadly Sins party. Proper theme party etiquette dictates that you wear a costume, so I've been tossing around ideas today at work. Let's just say this lead to a little inappropriate g-chatting, excerpted below:

***
laura: i want you to be pollution
me: if you have plastic cups there
me: then everyone can be pollution!!
laura: true
[Her away message changes to: i would expect no less from krys "if you have plastic cups there then everyone can be pollution!!"]

***
me: that wasn't the one i picked though
laura: what'd you pick
me: causing economic injustice
me: i'll be the monopoly man, and wear a top hat and monocle

***
me: my first idea was to actually BE a sloth
me: and put on three huge nails
me: and JJ thought i wouldn't be able to drink
me: so i shot that down

laura: ewww

me: dude
me: how else would you dress as a sloth?!

***

laura: brandon and i threw around a pedophile costume
me: i veto it
me: even without hearing it
me: i veto it

***

laura: i hope no one comes as abortion
me: i certainly hope not
me: if there's a tasteful way to dress up as abortion, i have yet to hear it
laura: someone could bring a baseball bat and be the aborter
me: i think you need to research how abortions are actually performed, hon
laura: someone could bring a vacuum cleaner
laura: is that better?
me: coat hanger?

Fin.

Given my penchant for compulsive eating and tendency towards inertia, it should come as no surprise that my personal favorite sins have always been gluttony and sloth. Sadly, these seem to necessitate dressing like a slob to the party, so I'm on the lookout for better ideas. Anyone?

Note: the tagline is from Mae West, and while I'm at it, I might as well highlight some more of her wit, to put me in the right mindset for a Deadly Sins party...

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to pick the one I never tried before."

"I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."